So, what is the solution to our eternal quests for the perfect relationship? Unfortunately, this simple question has no simple answer.
First of all, we have to realize that women and men have different needs and different perceptions of what is or isn’t important in life. Therefore, you aren’t going to find ONE being that can fulfill all your needs. We have to start accepting the idea that our significant other will fulfill some of our needs and desires, while other people in our lives have to fill in the gaps.
There is nothing wrong with this solution – in fact, it can enrich our lives to do some things together, and other things apart with other people.
We also have to question what this so called “perfect” relationship actually is. Is it going to fulfill the quest and desire for everlasting happiness, like it states in all the fairy tales? Not likely. From a spiritual point of view, the perfect relationship is one that helps you grow and evolve on your spiritual path. We are here to grow and learn from everything that happens to us, and if our relationships are only “sweetness and cherry pie,” we aren’t going to learn anything from them. So, the truth of the matter is, that the perfect relationship is one we can learn and grow from – and not one that makes us so happy that we forget all about our spiritual purpose for being here.
So, do relationships work? Absolutely! In the school of life, relationships serve a huge purpose; they are here to push all our buttons so we can expand to higher levels of consciousness! So in that sense, they can work wonders, especially if we don’t just escape through divorce as soon as things get a big heavy. The time has come to own our stuff, shadows and all, and to work through it. No more blaming others for all our misery! The time has come for honest self evaluation, and expansion will follow…
The first step in this process is to realize that men and women are different, and to stop making each other compromise in the relationship. If there is truly love between two people, they have to be willing to allow each other to be who they are, without compromise. Let the men work so they can feel good about their accomplishments, and let the women spend time with their girl friends so they can get the support they need, and then, celebrate the times when the two partners actually do come together out of their own free will to just be with each other.
Remember, expectation is the seed of frustration and nagging, so all expectation has to go…