Are these our ideals? I don’t think they should be! Women are supposed to be round and soft. We are supposed to have babies and nurture those babies. Tight, skinny bodies with no curves aren’t as soft and nurturing as someone with a few extra pounds here and there. We have to create our own ideas of what is beautiful – and it should be based on how nature has made us. We need to celebrate our differences, rather than trying to fit into a standard of beauty that doesn’t fit any of us.

So, we need a new approach. We need to start defining our own standards of beauty by discovering and celebrating each individual’s own beauty! We have to stop comparing ourselves to anyone else, and we have to stop criticizing ourselves. We are all different from each other, we are all beautiful in our own ways, so let’s celebrate our differences instead of trying to be all the same.

First of all, we need to work with the bodies that we have. We shouldn’t have to cut and suck, stitch and tuck so that we can all have the same bodies in the end. All we have to do is think how we can balance out what we have been given. This can easily happen with clothing. Because we all have different body shapes, each of us have to also develop our own individual clothing style.

Both the shape and the color of the clothes we choose can make a huge difference when it comes to balancing out the features we have been given. In the next week or so, I am going to write a series of posts about how we can create our own individually flattering clothing style.
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I first experienced, second hand, the curse of plastic surgery when one of my girl friends decided to get breast implants. She had a beautiful, petite body, but after she nursed a baby, her breasts were never quite the same, and she wasn’t happy. She told me that men like big breasts, so she was getting implants.

The surgery was extremely painful, with big scars under each breast, but she was so excited about her beautiful round new breasts that she showed them to anyone who wanted to see them. A year or two went by, and somehow, she started having a reaction to the implants. Her breasts turned as hard as stones and became extremely uncomfortable.

She went back to the doc, who suggested to have them removed. So, again she had to have surgery, and after taking the implants out, the doc had to try to reshape her old breasts by doing a bit of tucking and stitching. Poor girly – she really went through a lot.

Another example I remember was when I took all the clothes I had designed to a photographer to get my portfolio done. She had picked a model who was so pretty that I felt like Cinderella next to her. She was the most perfect person I had ever seen – absolutely gorgeous -until she did something that I’ll never forget!

All of a sudden, the photographer asked her to lift her breasts a little, so the dress would hang better. The model lifted her breasts, and they stayed in that new place!!! I couldn’t believe my eyes and said “How is that possible???” Silicone implants! I should have guessed. Hers were starting to get hard, as well, so she was actually able to position her breasts up/down/right/left so the pictures would come out better.

Oh, my God! I can’t believe that someone so pretty could even consider improving her looks! But it only shows one thing – nobody is happy with the way they look – it doesn’t matter how gorgeous they are!

The time has finally come to question all this nonsense and draw the line. It is time we start celebrating who we are. It is time we learn how to appreciate our own, unique beauty. It is time we get together with our girlfriends, not to criticize, but to encourage and help each other find our best assets. We must learn to enhance these, and stop obsessing about what we don’t have, or what we have, but don’t want. Enough is enough!
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If you follow this super simple rule of only eating when you are actually hungry, and never stuffing yourself to your limit, the excess weight will fall away and your body will stabilize itself at a level that is natural for you. Who knows if you are supposed to have curves? You’ll know when the weight stabilizes itself. Whatever that place is, that is your ideal weigth.

If your goal is to achieve a weight that is right for you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others. You don’t have to go on a diet. You don’t even have to step on a scale, because it is all about finding YOUR ideal weight, which is basically the weight that is natural for you.

Diets don’t work anyway, because they are simply suppressing your habits. The weight may come off, but when you quit your diet, how long do you keep it off? You can only keep your weight off if you actually change the way you eat!

Being overweight or obese is not natural. You never see an obese deer or an obese bobcat. Obese animals only exist in domesticated animals, and it only happens because we feed them regular meals, instead of letting them eat the way they do in nature.

Eating regular meals is a very un-natural way to eat. In nature, the animals only eat when food is available, and they don’t go looking for food until they are hungry again. If they are not hungry, they don’t even think about food. There is no breakfast, dinner and evening meal! There is no automatic, unconscious nibbling when they watch TV. They just look for food when they are hungry, and they eat until they are satisfied and leave the rest for someone else – no need to be greedy, or finish everything on the plate – that is just conditioned nonsense. Animals don’t operate under this kind of nonsense. The way they eat is the NATURAL way to eat! We have so much to learn from the animals!

Unfortunately, we have forgotten how to be natural. It is time we remember it again…
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Because the boys were in Norway for a while before they were able to bring the girls there, it didn’t take very long before the boys started appreciating skinny white women and started putting pin-up pictures on the walls in their rooms. By the time the African women came, the boys had already adopted a different idea of what was beautiful, and when the women discovered this, they went on strict diets almost right away.

The African girls were beautifully curvy when they arrived. After seriously dieting for a while, they lost their curves and started looking lanky instead. They had long arms and legs that needed some curves for a balanced look. So, we told them that they looked silly when they were too skinny, and that they should start eating so they could gain some curves again. Skinny just didn’t suit them!

We also told them that if the African boys no longer appreciated their curves, we were sure that there would be lots of Norwegian boys who would. This idea went over well with the girls, who were laughing and clapping, but the boys were extremely unhappy about the whole idea. No white boy was going to go out with one of “their” girls!!! Thereafter, the African boys had to let go of their stupid ideas of beauty, and the girls went back to being what they were in the first place, beauties with CURVES!

Everybody is different, and everyone has to decide for themselves what works for them. We have to do whatever it is that makes us feel good about ourselves. If dieting makes you feel miserable, don’t diet! Just eat when you are hungry and see what happens.
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I must admit, heals do look good, but there must be alternatives between birkenstocks and 4 inch spiked heals that will enhance your outfit without damaging your body in the process. We, as women, have to decide when enough is enough! Have you ever pondered over the fact the real women don’t have pointy feet, and that the shoes you wear should fit your feet, and not the other way around?

We should learn some things from the animals. Cats don’t mind saggy bellies, dogs don’t care if they drool, and spiders don’t mind hairy legs. We are the only animals in existence that can’t accept what we were given from nature.

I am not suggesting that we should all become hippies with frumpy hair, birkenstocks and no makeup. I am simply questioning some of these old ideas, and suggesting that we, as women, have to decide what makes us FEEL beautiful, and where to draw the line when it comes to what kind of societal pressures we are willing to put up with just to “fit in.” How far are we willing to go, just to be considered beautiful or attractive? If you want to know how far women are willing to go, just look at the tragic pictures of plastic surgery gone wrong. Those pictures just make me want to cry!

Did you know, that most women are not happy with how they look, even the ones that are born undisputably gorgeous! Something is definitely wrong with this picture because we can’t all be ugly!
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All this nonsense really makes you wonder if there is such a thing as real beauty. Is there a universal kind of beauty that everyone can agree on? The only thing I can think of is inner beauty. When someone is kind and loving, it makes them beautiful, regardless of what they look like physically. But when it comes to physical beauty, there is no ONE THING that everyone can agree on. Therefore, my conclusion is that there is no universal beauty. Beauty as we know it is simply an idea in the mind of man!
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In China, there were similar motives behind the idea that women should have tiny, tiny feet. So tiny, in fact, that they had to bind the feet of the girl babies and bend the toes under. Eventually, they couldn’t even stretch their toes anymore, so they ended up having to walk with their toes folded under, and the pain was evidently so excruciating that they couldn’t walk very far. Maybe their husbands were afraid they were going to run away if they had normal sized feet? Maybe, just maybe, all ideas of beauty arises out of sexual suppression and control issues!

On one hand, there are ideas of what is beautiful, on the other hand, there are control issues with sexual undertones. Beauty and sexual attractiveness seems to go hand in hand, and what it comes down to is really who is controlling who!!! If that is the case, maybe the time has come for women to say “enough is enough.” We are what we are, and you as men have to learn to accept that and start appreciating our natural beauty!
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In America, it is also considered beautiful to have a tan. In China, however, pale skin is considered much more beautiful, the paler the better. There are whole isles in the supermarkets there that are dedicated to skin bleaching creams, while in United States you find isles of tanning cream instead. So, what is more beautiful? Tan skin, or pale? The truth is, nobody can answer this question in an objective way, because beauty is “in the eyes of the beholder.” In other words, it is simply a matter of conditioned opinion! Whatever is culturally agreed upon, is the right answer at the time.

There are many other examples as well. For example, in America, big breasts are considered to be the most attractive. In places like Japan, small breasts were favored, at least in the past, even though that might be changing now. I think Japanese men have started enjoying bigger breasts there, too – perhaps as a result of the American influence. But in Japan, the traditional clothing was actually made for flat chested women, that is why the kimonos have no darts to allow for any curves. Can you imagine getting into a flat kimono if you have large breasts? It would make the kimono hike up in the front and make diagonal folds in odd places, so it really wouldn’t work, unless you tied the breasts down and flattened them first, which I think they actually do if someone’s breasts are too big for the outfit.
So, looking at different cultures, nobody seems to agree what exactly beauty is.
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There is a saying, that “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” What exactly does this mean? It means that it is the eye that sees, that decides what is beautiful. This means that there is no fixed idea of what it means to be beautiful, no objective beauty that everyone can agree on. So, how can we try to become more beautiful if nobody can even define what beauty is?

It is a well known fact that the idea of beauty is different in different cultures, and not only that, the idea of beauty can even change over time within the same culture. Women who were considered beautiful a few hundred years ago, may no longer be considered beautiful at all in our time. Just think of those cool pictures that they used to paint with naked women in the woods. They all had round bellies, big breasts, big hips and pretty hefty looking thighs. Those women were considered incredible beauties at the time. Now women are supposed to be very skinny, with totally flat bellies, and if you ask anyone what they think of those curvy beauties of the past, most likely, they will describe them as fat, flabby and definitely NOT attractive. So, evidently, beauty seems to be just an idea that can change over time, rather than a fixed concept that we can compare ourselves with.

So, even though we are supposed to be skinny and have flat stomachs, which I probably won’t have no matter how skinny I get, at least I don’t have to force myself into a corset and try to achieve a 20″ waistline, like they had to in the past!!! Those poor ladies kept fainting all the time because they couldn’t breathe! I can’t even imagine what that must have felt like! What stupidity in the name of beauty!
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