So, I added up her numbers to see which category she belonged to. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, CLICK HERE to learn more about my new system for determining what colors to wear.) I gave her a 4 for the hair, 2 for the eyebrows and 2 for the skin, a total of 8 – PASTEL CATEGORY!

Just what I suspected! This was a lady in the pastel category wearing dull, muted colors. Personally, I love muted colors, but you should only wear them if it suits your coloring. On everybody else, they look too dull!

Since this lady is at the upper end of the pastel category, she actually has two choices. If she wants to wear pastel colors, she can lighten her hair color to a 3 and darken her eyebrows, also to a 3. It still adds up to an 8, but by lightening the hair and darkening they eyebrows, there will be more contrast in her coloring, and and she would look fabulous in pastels.

If she prefers muted colors, she would be better off going back to her original hair color (darken to a 4). If she stopped the highlights, and darkened her eyebrows at least 2 shades (also to a 4), she would be able to wear all her muted clothes without looking dull at all. But, she would also have to change her blush and lipstick! No more pastel nude lips – In the muted category the lipstick should be a medium colored muted mauve or brownish neutral, very close to her natural lip color.

This is a good example of what happens when your clothing belongs to one category, and your makeup and coloring belongs to another. The result is always unflattering. Unfortunately, this is something we all do. Perhaps it is because my system for determining what colors to wear is completely brand new? However, the system really works, and it works for everything – hair color, brow color, choice of lipstic, blush and clothing because everything has to work together.

So, this is the most important thing when it comes to creating your own clothing style and determining the right colors to wear: Make sure that your coloring, makeup and clothing are all from within the same color category! If it is, you’ll look fantastic – if it isn’t, your style is seriously suffering!
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I heard a story about Marilyn Monroe which makes sense to me. Because she dressed in a very sensual and alluring way, she attracted tons of men who simply couldn’t resist her beauty and sexiness. However, this wasn’t really an expression of who she was. By heart, she was supposedly deeply romantic and vulnerable, and she needed a man who could honor this quality in her and love and protect her. Instead, she attracted men who were only interested in sex. They didn’t have a clue what she really needed because she projected a totally different “self” to the world. The result was great confusion and unhappiness.

I also heard another story about two girlfriends who were invited to the same party, one was an alluring type, the other was a romantic. The alluring type convinced the romantic friend to wear one of her sexy dresses, and the whole evening, she attracted men that came on way too strong, and that actually scared her.

Or, imagine a dramatic type dressing as a romantic. She’ll attract some sweet, oldfashioned knightly type who will be shocked into his boots when her dramatic side shows itself. This isn’t at all what he bargained for, and he might even resent her for being so dramatic.

In all relationships, there are huge amounts of non-verbal communication between people. When you see someone for the first time, it is not just the way he looks or talks that matters. We basically pick up clues from everything, like the way he dresses, whether his clothes are clean, how big his muscles are, how he smells, if he has any odd habits or ticks, what the energy of his eyes are like, and so on. So if you want anyone to get an impression of who you are as an individual, you must find your own clothing style and dress in a way that reflects the real you. Once you do, you’ll attract a lot more likeminded people into your life. So, forget about fashion. You are better off finding your own unique style.
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I used to think that I am a little bit of this and a little bit of that, and that style is whatever you like to wear. But that is not so. For example, I love long flowing skirts and flouncy fairy tops. Very romantic. I can argue until the cows come home how romantic I am at heart, and how I love to be in love, but this kind of clothing is doomed to be worn once or twice, and then it gets stuffed into the deepest part of my closet, and stays there for an indefinite time. The truth is, I am dramatic in every way. How else could I pick a name like “fabulously cheeky” for my blog? So forget romantic – it makes me look like I dressed up for halloween.

Not only do these kinds of clothes look dum on me, but my husband keeps saying “Those things look awful on you, they just aren’t you!”
Or, like my little boy said, once someone gave me a beautiful flowing dress with little flowers on it – “You look like an old hag, mom!” Nothing can be more clear than when a child speaks!!! Thank you for that insight!

Again, the question was why? Why does my daughter look absolutely lovely and fairy like in flowery dresses, when I look like a hag? Obviously, we have different styles, but what is style, and how do I figure out what my style is?

Again, I found a super simple way to penetrate this incredibly essential mystery that every woman needs an answer to – and the answer will be revealed in one very simple question: If you were invited to a great big semi formal party this weekend with lots of people that you don’t know, what would you wear?

Would you wear a beautiful buttoned up silk blouse and a long, simple velvet skirt? Would your makeup consist of mascara and lipstick and nothing else? If so, you are a casual type. Simple, no frills, girl next door look. Just wants a normal guy who works for a living.

Would you wear a beautiful flowing dress with lace and flowers and a choker around your neck? Would your makeup be soft and delicate pinks and peaches in your lipstick and blush, with soft colored eyeshadow and long dark lashes? Would your hair be soft and wavy, or have long curly tendrils hanging down? If so, you are a romantic type. Think soft, feminine, innocent and vulnerable. In need of a man who can sweep you off your feet and take care of her.

Or, would you wear something sensual or alluring? A soft sensual cashmere dress that shows off your every curve? A beautiful velvet dress with long splits up the sides and cowl neckline that shows off too much cleavage (and wear no underwear)? Would your hair be wild and tousled, like you just woke up? Would you wear 5 coats of mascara, and glossy, tempting lips? Would you wear a Marilyn Monroe dress and spiked heels? If so, you are a sensual type. Think sexy, soft, sensual, cleavage and curves, dangerous to men…

Or would you wear a black mini dress, a furry vest from a second hand store, combat boots and striped leggings, spiked asymmetric hair and purple and green eye shadow? If so, you are an innovative type. Think second hand stores, eclectic mixes, asymmetric, untraditional. Needs an open minded guy with no fixed ideas.

Or, would you wear a black, one of a kind pant suit with 5 eye catching necklaces around your neck, 3″ long ear rings, and dramatic makeup. Or perhaps, a long straight dress with high splits up the sides and big, bold blocks of color, paired with long black pants and bare feet? And perhaps some boa feathers around your neck, and very dramatic eye makeup? If so, you are a dramatic type! Think simple, clean lines, bold colors, no frills! Needs someone in her life who can appreciate some drama!

Or, how about a classic pantsuit with a simple strand of beads over a simple silk blouse. Your hair is pulled back, your makeup is simple, but elegant. Your clothes are expensive, but timeless. Very proper. You are a classic type. Needs a guy with good taste and lots of money.

Now, which one is you? Honestly? Once you know, you can start going through your closets again!
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It is too easy to get stuck in some kind of time warp. You found a dress that you loved 30 years ago, and you just can’t bear to throw it out. Well, guess what; even if it still fits you, it won’t look as smart now as it did then. In 30 years, things have changed, both personally and in the world of fashion. What worked 30 years ago, or even 10 years ago, looks dated and frumpy now.

So, if you have anything in your closet that is more than 10 years old, get rid of it! I don’t care what it is (unless it is really a timeless classic) – every decade a girl needs a complete makeover!

Over time, we change in so many ways. That midriff that used to look so cute, may be better off behind some flattering clothing now. That super short skirt should perhaps be replaced with one that is a little longer now. Or, you may realize that the deep plunge neckline you used to love, actually doesn’t look quite as flattering any more. Or, perhaps you are a bit curvier now, and need clothing that flatters your new curves. Every decade (or even more often), all of these issues have to be re-evaluated with great honesty. Get a second opinion from an honest girl friend if you can, and if you are courageous enough to really hear the truth, ask your own daughter! Then throw away everything that doesn’t work, and write a list of what you need now.

Knowing your horizontal and verical body type is really helpful. Now you know what lengths your skirts, pants and tops have to be, and which part of your outfit that has to be a dark color or a lighter color. You also know which parts that has to be fitted and which parts should be loose.

Knowing all of this makes it much easier to pick something that flatters your body type, and is still in fashion. This way, you don’t have to be a “fashion slave,” wearing clothing that doesn’t flatter you just because it is “in.” No, we have to know what will enhance our best features, and then look for that, and disregard everything else. That way, you can use fashion to your advantage by creating a clothing style that is uniquely yours, but still fashionably up to date.

Tomorrow, I will talk about a completely new system I have developed that makes it easy to determine what are your best colors to wear. Forget about “Seasons” and “Sunset Colors” – my system is better because it is easy to use, and it works!
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Anyway, lets talk about what actually does flatter your neck.

Flattering necklines for long necks:
If your neck is long, you can wear turtle necks as long as the neck on the sweater is at least as long as your neck. If it only comes half way up, like a mock turtle, you are in danger of looking like a turtle. (Sorry, I’ll stop joking). In addition, you look great with a ballet neck, boat neck, cowl neck, wide v-neck, off shoulder necks, and anything that creates some kind of horizontal lines (except crew necks!!!). This will visually shorten a long neck and widen the shoulders to create more harmonious proportions. If someone with a long neck happens to love v-necks, it should be a rounded v (not a sharp v), and you need to break up the neck lengthening effect with lots of necklaces or scarves around your neck. You can also get away with super long ear rings!

Flattering necklines for short necks:
This type of neck needs visual lengthening, so the most flattering necklines are deep v-necks and deep scoops. In addition, you need to accessorize with long necklaces, nothing too close to the neck. If you also have narrow shoulders, you might try deep and wide v-necks instead. Tiny ear rings looks best. Don’t use any scarfs around the neck. If you like scarfs, pick long scarfs that hang down loose, or put a triangular scarf around your shoulders. This will widen the shoulders and still lengthen the neck. Long dusters worn open are also a good option.
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Determining horizontal body type is easy. Measure around the bust, waist (around the narrowest part) and hips (around the widest part).

If your bust and waist measurements are bigger than your hips, your shape is like an apple.
If your hip measurement is bigger than your bust, your shape is like a pear.
If your bust, waist and hips are fairly equal, your shape is like a rectangle.
If your bust is almost the same size as your hips, and your waist is 7-10″ smaller, give or take a few inches, your shape is like an hourglass.

Dressing an apple
Promise me to NEVER, EVER wear a big, loose, boxy t-shirt over tights or skinny pants!!! For some very strange reason, women with this type of figure love this combination, but unfortunately, tights and a loose, baggy t-shirt looks way too boxy and actually accentuates your proportions in the wrong way. I know it is tempting, because this type of figure often has skinny legs, but skinny legs and a heavy top can easily look top heavy. So forget leggings and skinny pants. What you need to do is to add fullness to the hips while minimizing the bust.
The best way to do this is by using dark colored tops in crisp, somewhat fitted fabrics. NO BAGGY T-SHIRTS! Also, stay away from short sleeves, which add weight to your bust. Long or 3/4 sleeves are more flattering.
Pants should be light colored (since light colors will add fullness), with straight or wide legs (NO TAPERED LEGS). This will make your body look more proportionate.

Dressing a pear:
When dressing a pear, we want to minimize the hips, and add fullness to the bust. For some odd reason, women with this kind of body shape love wearing pants that are baggy around the hips and tapered on the bottom. TERRIBLE! I call these “frumpy mommy pants!” This will only make your hips look bigger and more disproportionate! What you need is nicely fitted pants with straight or wide legs in a dark color. Dark colored pants are a must for this type of figure. If you love jeans, get the darkest color you can find, and make sure they fit snugly around the hips.
To add fullness to the bust, think bright or light colors, patterns, horizontal stripes at the top (not at the hips), shoulder pads and short sleeves. The goal is to try to even out the proportions so that the hips and shoulders look more equal.

Dressing a rectangle:
Here, the main purpose is to divert attention away from the waist line. The easiest way to do this is use the same color on top as on the bottom, preferably a dark color. Avoid belts or pockets in this area. Use long scarfs that create strong vertical lines. Try tops with princess seams or baby doll styles that don’t cling.

Dressing an hourglass:
The more extreme the hourglass shape is, the more tailored and fitted the clothing has to be. Baggy clothing doesn’t fit this type of figure at all. If your waist line is tiny, you can wear narrow belts to show it off. If your proportions are balanced, you can even get away with tights and skinny pants if you wish. This type of body can get away with wearing a bit more extreme fashions than the other types.
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Long legs + short torso:
For this body type to look balanced, you need to visually shorten the legs and lengthen the torso. Low waisted pants are good for this, and also long tops. The most flattering length is somewhere near your hip socket. Being 5’8″ with very long legs, my most flattering top length is 24-25″. 23″ is a bit on the short side, and 27″ looks disproportionate the other way. If I wear anything shorter than 23″, I look way taller than I actually am. The other trick to visually lengthen your torso is by using long necklaces, long scarfs hanging down, and low slung belts (no waist belts, unless the belt is the same color as your top). You can also layer the look with a long t-shirt and a shorter jacket. But normally, jackets look best if they are quite long.

Balanced legs and torso:
If you have a balanced body type where legs and torso are equal length, you have to stay away from any extremes. Pants should be mid rise, and tops should be a few inches longer than the top of your hip bone. No cropped tops, cropped pants or long tops. The proportions are already correct and should not be visually changed.

Short legs and long torso:
If you have short legs and a long torso, high rise pants, or pants that go to your natural waist, are more flattering. Pinstripes visually lengthens the legs. The torso should be visually shortened with cropped tops and jackets and tucked in t-shirts. Belts around the waist look great if your body is slim. Avoid long hanging scarfs and long necklaces. A pretty pin would be a better choice. Long skirts are also a good way to visually lengthen short legs. Even though I hate high heels with a passion, moderate heels are not a bad option for this body type, since it also helps even out the proportions.

Clue: If you always find yourself pulling or tugging on your top, you need longer tops. Pay attention to where you like to pull it down to – that is usually where your best length is. Likewise, if you are always blousing your top upwards, see where you usually push it to, and buy tops that have that specific length.

Short waisted:
If you measure your hip to bust and find that you are short waisted, you have to always try to lengthen this part. Baby doll type empire tops may look great, and also vertical stripes. Definitely no horizontal stripes, and no waist belts. Fitted tops and princess seams are another good way to lengthen your midbody. And don’t even think about using cropped tops. Longer tops look better, as long as they don’t shorten the legs too much. Check in the mirror to see where the length of the top looks just right.

Now, when I buy cloting on ebay, I don’t even look at clothing that has the wrong length. What is the point? It just makes me look dis-proportionate if the length is wrong. Recently, I just hit my 50th birthday, and since I believe that a girl needs a major makeover every time she hits another decade (and probably in between as well), I threw out all the tops that were too short, and went wild on ebay, looking for longer tops. Finally, my wardrobe really works, and I am very happy. It is fun to create your own clothing style.
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In the last post, I talked about how you can measure your leg length, subtract it from your total height, so you can determine if your legs are longer, shorter or equal to your torso length. In addition, you also need to know if you are short or long waisted. To find out how you measure up, start with your leg length first. Measure from the floor to where your legs enter your hip socket. Then, measure from the hip socket to the tip of your bust.

To figure out what your proportions are, first subtract the leg length from your total length. Compare this number with your torso length so you can determine if your legs are long, equal or shorter than your torso.

Then subtract your hip to bust measurement from your torso length. Ideally, hip to bust and bust to top of head are supposed to be equal. If hip to bust is longer, you are long waisted. If hip to bust is shorter, you are short waisted.

Now, write down what your vertical body type is. Here are some possibilities:

Totally balanced: leg length = torso length
Longer Legs: legs are longer than torso
Shorter Legs: legs are shorter than torso
And in addition, you also need to consider whether you are long waisted, short waisted, or if your waist has a normal length.

When buying clothes, the most flattering clothes are the ones that balance out these proportions. Once you know what they are, it is easy to figure out what length top or skirt to buy. More about the length of tops tomorrow.
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I recently read a book that I found very helpful called “Staging Your Comeback” by Christopher Hopkins. He is focusing on how women over 45 can create their own clothing style. Although, I don’t agree with his makeup philosophy, he had some very good ideas about clothing style.

One of the most eye opening things I found out about myself was that my legs were actually 4″ longer than my torso!!! I knew they were long, but I didn’t have a clue they were that long. So, if you want to know what clothes to wear, this is the first thing you have to know.

Measure with a stiff tape measure from the floor up to exactly where the leg enters the hip joint. Then subtract this measurement from your total heigth. The most balanced proportions are when torso and leg length are the same. If that is the case, you look best in long pants with a mid rise – not too high, not too low.

If your legs are longer than your torso, you can wear low rise pants, cropped pants and capris, and of course long pants. Stay away from pinstripes, which tends to create a lengthening effect.

If you have shorter legs than torso, you need pants that come all the way to your waist. Stay away from cropped and capris. Pinstripes are your friend.

When it comes to skirt lengths, you first have to decide what kinds of shoes you are willing to wear. If you love comfortable flats, long skirts or mid leg length is more flattering. If you are willing to wear heels, you can get away with above or below the knee, but don’t even think about wearing flats with a knee length skirt. Flats with knee length are frumpy!

The problem with knee length skirts is that they cut your legs in half. This makes your legs look shorter, so you have to balance the visual shortening with high heels. If you wear long skirts, your legs look fine as they are, so flats are not a problem.

When it comes to mini skirts, you really shouldn’t wear them, unless you are under 30 (or maybe 40…) But, if you do love them, and you have the legs to carry them off, there are two ways to wear them. If you wear your mini with bare legs, the skirt visually shortens your legs, so you need to wear high heels to balance the shortening effect. If you wear your mini with opaque tights in the same color as the skirt, preferably black, you can get away with wearing black, flat boots, since wearing all the same color visually lengthens the legs.

My main priority, when picking a skirt length, has to do with the comfort of my feet, so personally, I prefer to stay with long skirts and flats. Remember, long skirts create long slim lines, and the best thing is, you can wear them with shoes that don’t ruin your feet or damage your back, and it still looks good. A long skirt or long pants with flats is the only style that doesn’t compromise your style, or your comfort. That’s why I love it.
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